Is there such thing as a role for the Pastor's family?

  There really isn't much prep work for the Pastor's family as they enter into the ministry. Our husbands receive theological  instruction, intensive Biblical training and the camaraderie of their Lutheran comrades.  

  As future pastor's wives ( I will refer to us as PW's and the kids are labeled PK's here on out )  we were extended the invitation to take a few courses that were specifically set up for us in the evenings, to join the SWA ( Seminary Women's Association ) and to make connections at Friday night BBQ's in the Woods.  ( just a side note, this is all from Concordia St. Louis Seminary ) These were all excellent avenues to meet and greet and hopefully build life -long friendships among our community of believers but there really wasn't anything offered to prepare us for full time ministry and what to expect.  Not even a crash course of "PW and PK 101: How Not to Fail at Your Husband's/ Father's First Call".  Could there even be such a thing as preparing a family for what's ahead?

  16 years later I can give you an answer with a definite "NO".  Every church is different and has their own unique characteristics and personalities from each of the members of the body of Christ.  So of course there couldn't be a course to tell you what's up ahead or how to prepare you for the future congregations you will serve.  

  Every pastor and his family will have a different story to tell, some will be beautiful stories of ministry, others not so much.  There are some that have been hurt so deeply, wounded and scarred and broken to the point where you wonder if they can even go on.  Nobody said ministry was easy.  Nobody said it would be hard either.  

  I spent years thinking I had to be this certain person, act a certain way and make sure my children appeared saintly.  Going to church was painful sometimes because I felt like I couldn't be real, I couldn't have needs or be hurting and I certainly couldn't make friends in the congregation.  I hadn't given myself grace and I lost my focus of the real reason we were going to church in the first place.

  Where did these ideas of having to be perfect and saintly and being capable of doing everything ie. play the organ, sing in the choir, be impeccably dressed. Where did they come from?  I don't have the answers but I do know they aren't Biblical. 

  So what is the role of the Pastor's family? Is there a role? I can answer that with an emphatic "NO".  Thankfully.  

   I came across a beautiful blog that covers this more clearly than I can tell you.  Pastor Matt Richard puts the right amount of grace onto the subject of who actually is called into the ministry and allowing the family to be just that, the family, members of the congregation in just as much need of forgiveness, sinners in need of the Sacraments and without the expectations of having to put on airs.

  

What Is A Pastor’s Wife To Do?

  I'm leaving you with these thoughts, love, love, love your Pastor and his family.  Pray for them and give them grace.  They are as much a sinner as you are, in need of grace, mercy and forgiveness.